Sometimes you have to live life on the edge. For some people, that means climbing a mountain, taking a spur of the moment trip, or putting their life savings into starting a business.
For me, it means buying white curtains. You read that right… this mama likes things to be beautiful, classy, and yet often practicality wins out in my purchase decisions. Even when I walk down the store aisles with a picture in my head of my preferred style (something I would love!), often as I look at price tags and consider years ahead of sticky little hands, spills, and inevitable accidents, I weaken and give in to durability over beauty, or I just can’t quell the struggle within and simply walk out with no purchase in hand. I’ll make that decision later, like in 20 years.
Becoming a mom has taught me many things, but one thing especially; to live in the moment. The older I get, the less important those little details seem in the grand scheme of things, and instead I feel challenged to seize the moment for what it is, in it’s beauty, imperfection, messiness, and providence.
I have a sad tendency to get stuck in the past; to feel weighty guilt for mistakes I made, regret over opportunities lost. In the same way, my mommy brain likes to jump ahead to the future and freeze in terror long before the anticipated woes of teaching algebra, guiding emotional teens, and going shopping with a passel of active toddlers is even a reality. And yet, in the moment, in the present, is where my heart needs to reside; in thankfulness for the beauty God has given, not allowing my silly fears to distract from his perfect gifts.
God made us to be smart, to plan ahead, to be wise with our money and resources and time. But He also made us to be beautiful, and enjoy beauty. As my days get fuller, it’s become more important for me to learn to balance the practical housework with the refreshing creative time. As our family and boundary grows (oh yeah, we just bought a house!), it’s become interesting learning to find the line between durable and elegant in our purchases.
But this day, I found myself walking back and forth, fingering silky, course, thick and sheer fabric of curtains, observing the different colors, shades, designs (and looking at price tags, and looking again), feeling a nudge to go for my dream living room design… that all extravagant, bold, beautiful, clean, airy white. It was a bit of a tipping point for this frugal Scottish mama, who can sometimes feel the weight of the Proverbs 31 call to run a beautiful (preferably mostly clean!) home while being financially wise, and resourceful.
I know this side of heaven I can’t have it all (well, at least if I want my sanity too), but I can have white curtains, and there will be fingerprints, and I say bring it on.