Jan 13 2012

Currently reading…

“One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp

Why am I a habitual reductionist?  Why do I reduce God in this moment to a mere frustration?  Why do I reduce The Greatest to the lessser instead of seeing the lesser, this mess, as reflecting the Greatest?  I have to learn how to see, to look through to the Largeness behind the smallness.  Isn’t He here?

 

I’m being very blessed as I work my way through this unique book by Ann Voskamp.  It has challenged me in a way that very few spiritual related books do. This one gets five stars!


Jan 12 2012

Dancing on duct tape

I could think up a fun metaphor for this one, but I’ll refrain.


Jan 9 2012

Ushering in the new year with a toothbrush

So I’m one of those “goals and resolutions” kind of people. I like making lists and crossing things off; I mean, who doesn’t like that euphoric feeling of accomplishment? But seriously, every December I start to feel reflective, and also begin to develop a mental calendar of the year ahead.

 

My lists aren’t so much the “have-to-get-this-done-or-else” type of goals as they are a way to put down on paper what I hope to accomplish, and then be able to look back a year later and see how God brought about something totally different. It’s never demoralizing or discouraging, because while man can make plans, God’s are always more interesting and exciting. As long as I am accomplishing something worth while to the Kingdom, I’m satisfied.

 

However, there always seems to be one item on my list that strangely reappears every new January, as I heave a sigh and mark an “X” next to it on the previous year’s. It’s something every Christian should make the top priority of every day, month, year… it’s so “basic” I blush when I confess that yes, it really has ended up on my list of goals for last year. And the year before. And…

 

But then I remind myself that it’s not “basic”. It’s vital. “Make daily time with the Lord a priority.” There! I said it. Something that every good second-generation Christian knows is priority; this orienting of one’s day around the Book of life and refreshing cup of water. Why is this one item so very hard to make into a habit? Why am I so content letting a year go by without truly conquering my inability to make it top priority of each ordinary day?

 

As I was reflecting and heaving sighs over the “X’s” in my spiritual life, I thought about the other daily habits that are ingrained into my schedule. While I may not always make my bed in the morning, I’m a stickler about having it neat before I crawl under the blue covers at the end of the day. And I won’t go into the necessity of showering (unless you happen to be a 14 year old boy with much more important things to do, like my brother).

 

And seriously, when it comes to brushing my teeth, I think I can safely say that no matter how busy, or tired, or distracted I am, rare is the day in which I neglect to polish my pearly whites. Okay, think about it; how gross would it be to forgo this habit? After years of practice, I don’t need any reminders to get this simple act accomplished.

 

If only spending time in the Word was like brushing my teeth. If only I could climb under my just-made blue covers only to slap my head and go “oh man, I can’t believe I forgot to read my Bible!”, and climb back out to do this completely necessary task before closing out the day. How many evenings go by when I don’t even check the imaginary “teeth” of my soul and see the scum build up which is equally disgusting?

 

Okay, so enough of the gross metaphors. You get my meaning. Needless to say, on my fresh papers with neatly printed black lists (carefully categorized, to make me feel smart) I have a goal. It doesn’t have an “X” yet, and I’m so creative that I actually changed it up a bit. But it’s still there, staring me in the face, challenging me to get past the blushing stage and move on to the squeaky clean, sparkly, fresh-feeling rewards (to put it metaphorically)…

 

“Make daily time in the Word like brushing my teeth.”

 

If all my other goals go out the window and God brings on new and unexpected projects, I’m good with that. But this may just be one goal worth keeping year to year; minus the “X’s”.


Jan 6 2012

In 2011 I…

  • Cried for three days straight after my puppy was hit by a car.
  • Recovered and 6 months later bought Mac, a purebred Border Collie.

  • Got my first speeding ticket. *Sob*
  • Spoke at our State Capitol.
  • Called an English Country dance for several hundred people. And had a blast doing it!
  • Was home alone for 3 days and concluded that it is not good for man (or woman) to be alone.
  • Visited California for the first time.
  • Was able to pray with all 50 of my students together before our annual recital. And felt overwhelmed by God’s blessings to me.

  • Turned 21!
  • Discovered that peppermint essential oil + coffee is an amazing combination!
  • Delivered a speech at the Providential History Festival on Corrie ten Boom.

  • Went to an English Country workshop and danced with hippies (not even joking!).
  • Tried dying my hair reddish with natural henna. And it worked!
  • Made my one (and only) perfect pound cake.

  • Burnt my face to a crisp in the Spring sun. I wouldn’t recommend it.
  • Met David Limbaugh.
  • Went to a formal dinner; the one time I wish my stomach had more capacity.
  • Tried water-skiing. “Epic fail”, as my brothers would say. But hey; I tried.
  • Had my first legal drink. But you probably already guessed that.

Sep 24 2011

“I Surrender All”

A speech about Corrie ten Boom

Corrie in 1907

By Jennifer Duff

Delivered at Omaha’s annual Providential History Festival on September 17th, 2011.  Many thanks to my proofreaders: Katie Wattermann, Pat Lane, Sheri Duff, MaryAnne Shepherd, and Pam Rosewell Moore


On April 15th, 1892 a little girl was born prematurely to a modest family in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. When the baby’s uncle saw her blue skin and pinched features, he remarked sadly, “I hope the Lord will quickly take this poor little creature to His home in heaven”. Little did he know that the small bundle would grow up to be one of the most recognized Christian heroines of the second world war; the woman who we know as Corrie ten Boom.

 

Corrie was born to Casper and Cornelia ten Boom as the youngest of 4 children, and while their home was not one of luxury, the richness of their love for each other and the Lord replaced any lack of material wealth. In speaking about the day he proposed to his wife, Casper ten Boom said, “Until the last day of her life, I was just as much in love with your mother as I was on that day in Harderwijk.  We didn’t have an easy life- we had many sorrows- but God led us by His extraordinary providence.”

 

The Ten Boom family was diligently sharing Christ with their community through hospitality while living a quiet life in the Beje, their beloved home and watch shop. But in 1940 the rumbles of war began to reach their simple life, as Germany invaded the Netherlands, threatening the freedom of Jews and anyone who dared to offer them protection. After the death of Casper ten Boom several years later, his daughter Betsie said “I often thought that a person in whom Christ was shown to such full advantage, who lived so close to the Saviour, to whom the eternal things were so real… such a person has all the conditions for becoming a martyr.”

 

Even as a young family the Lord was preparing the Ten Booms for the hardships that would come. Corrie, despite at one point having a relationship with a young man, never married and instead  lived with her sister Betsie, and together they aided their father in his steadfast ministry to the poor and handicapped in their community. It was this same fearless attitude of sacrifice for the Lord that led Casper to bring Jews into his home, as the German occupation of the Netherlands threatened the lives of their fellow countrymen.

 

Was there fear or trembling on their part in defying such a powerful and menacing force as the gestapo?  It is evident that their fear of an almighty God and a trust in His sovereignty was greater still.  And yet, God was preparing Corrie’s heart for the difficulties to come.  As airplanes began to roar into Holland and wreak havoc on the city around the Beje, Corrie saw a vision of being led away in captivity.

 

Casper and Cornelia ten Boom

Four years later she would recall this dream as she, her father Casper, her siblings and nephew were  arrested for hiding Jews, and loaded onto a bus destined for the Scheveningen prison. Corrie was kept in solitary confinement for 4 months, and yet despite the disease, harsh treatment and loneliness, she trusted in the plan of the almighty God. She said, “No pit could be so deep that Jesus was not deeper still.”

 

Though Betsie and Corrie were separated in Scheveningen, they both had contact during their interrogations with an official called Lieutenant Hans Rahms. On five occasions Betsie had the opportunity to pray and share the gospel with this man who was considered an enemy.

 

At one point Corrie was summoned to speak with him, and in astonishment was shown a  detailed report about  her underground operation, as well as a list of many of her friends, underground workers, and Jews they had hidden. After a moment of painful silence, he unexpectedly threw the incriminating papers into the fire.  The Lord had used Corrie and Betsie’s testimony in Scheveningen to reach the heart of one man, and thus protect the safety of God’s servants.

 

During their imprisonment at Scheveningen in 1944, Corrie and Betsie learned that their beloved father, Casper, had died. Their siblings Nollie and Willem were released, but Corrie and Betsie were taken to Vught, a transitional concentration camp, and finally to Ravensbruck, a women’s camp famed for its intensive labor, harsh conditions, and inhumane medical treatments.

 

And yet God was in that place of darkness and suffering; working miracles amidst the need…  A bottle of liquid vitamins that did not run out until more was supplied… Betsie’s sickness that provided a chance to smuggle a bible into Ravensbruck, and the guards that overlooked the obvious bulk that it created… The horrible fleas that Corrie struggled to thank God for, which were later discovered to be the reason that the guards did not enter the barracks and disrupt their bible services.  In a letter to his sisters, Willem ten Boom said “What a blessing when you may witness about  Him by word and deed in surroundings where sorrow and privation open hearts so easily.”  God was using the suffering of two sisters to reveal His gospel to a camp of hurting women.

 

Tante Corrie

On December 16th, 1944 Corrie lost her sister and best friend, Betsie, to illness and starvation. Two weeks later, Corrie was released from Ravensbruck by a clerical error… and seven days later all women in her age group were taken to the gas chambers. Out of the 120,000 women that passed through the gates of Ravensbruck, an estimated 90,000 died within the camp walls.  Yet Corrie went on to build homes for former prisoners, including an old concentration camp that she transformed into a place of hope. Until her death in 1983 she shared her inspiring testimony with countless individuals while traveling to 64 countries.

 

Corrie ten Boom’s uncle thought it would have been better if she had died as a sickly infant.  And yet how many providential things could we behold, if our earthly eyes were strengthened to see the mighty plans of the Lord?  Corrie truly is an example of how God uses the most unlikely, weak people to display His plan of victory.  As Corrie said, “I believe that we are too often failure-conscious.  Faith makes us victory-conscious.  Faith brings the unreality of hope to the reality of now.  Hope is the future.  Faith is present.  Faith is the radar that shows us the reality of Christ’s victory.  The moment that radar works correctly, we dare to say, “God has made me able to conquer weakness, fear, and inability, and I stand and declare that whosoever believes in Jesus shall not be put to shame.” Jesus was Victor, Jesus is Victor, Jesus will be Victor.”


Jul 29 2011

This puzzle called life…

A cardinal singing in the lush hedge outside the window… an evening of laughter around the dinner table… a quiet moment watching the rain fall from a sunny sky, as time seems to have stopped. Who am I to be blessed with such perfect little moments of simple joy in this world of sin? There is so much that I don’t understand. And yet my heavenly father gives me moments of stillness and beauty to draw strength and refreshment from.

I am reading literature by Corrie ten Boom. Overwhelming grace! Torture and death! Incomprehensible peace! So much that I don’t understand. Who would I be in the face of affliction? How much more would my savior be to me in such loneliness? I dread and yet long for such an understanding of this depth of relationship with an almighty God.

 

Material failure and spiritual victory. Fleshly pain and emotional healing. This world is so confusing; who would not long for the Eden that so quickly faded away by one act of rebellion? And how is it that we can be so repulsed by our filthy rags one moment, and cling lovingly to them the next? So many questions, but I don’t need the answer to them all at once. My Lord is gracious enough to reveal to me my need and His sufficiency one lesson at a time.

 

A cardinal singing in the lush hedge outside the window. I don’t really know what causes him to sing or what makes him keep returning to the house. But if God knows the patterns of a soulless bird; his life span, his home, his purpose… then surely every detail of life on this earth is ordained to fit a plan that is so big, so grand, so perfect that it’s beyond what our limited minds can know. And yet I can live in the unknown with the assurance that God in His providence has it all under control.

 

“Oh glorious victory that overcomes the world!”

 


Jun 25 2011

The process of a portrait

Step 1: Get camera shy

Step 2: Receive lots of encouragement and coaxing

Step 3: Cry

Step 4: Ask for Daddy

Step 5: Muster up some courage

Step 6: Be brave and impossibly cute

Photo shoot complete!


Jun 25 2011

“Let me see those pearly whites!”

Here is the result of my backdrop dying project, shown in my previous post.  These photos were taken on recital day while the girls were fresh, excited, and for the most part all happy to pose with their prettiest smile!  We didn’t have enough chiffon to blend in the floor colors, but all in all I was pretty happy with the result.  The seam down the middle is visible, but no one was expecting a professional backdrop and it got the job done.

 


Jun 16 2011

Flowers are…

A suitor’s smartest purchase.

Beautiful!

A wonderful weekend prolonged.

Romantic.

Something to preserve.

Worth the cost!


Jun 13 2011

46 blessings…

Spontaneous hugs… chubby smiles looking up at me… little voices calling “Miss Jennifer!”.  These are just a few of the visible blessings that my past week was filled with.  Only 5 1/2 years ago I started teaching a small group of girls in my small town studio.  About three years ago I began teaching classes in Omaha.  Our first recital in the “big city” included 17 dancers, the next year grew to 37, and this year I was privileged to be “Miss Jennifer” to 46 girls ages 4-16.  As my studio (and hopefully knowledge!) continues to expand I am just so amazed that God has brought me to this place of role model and teacher.

 

Recitals no doubt come with their share of stress and chaos.  If it’s not dealing with a heart-stopping call about facility issues, it means trying to get a costume out of a shut locker, soothing pre-performance tears, or dealing with last minute costume confusion.  And while I only spent about 11 hours in class each week leading up to recital, time on the road driving to classes came to 6 hours a week, and once you add in 57 hours in the studio choreographing dances plus all the preparatory work on those million little details… recital season is definitely a full time investment and demanding project.

 

Then in one evening, after 5 months of rehearsing and planning and ordering and measuring and calling and driving and printing and choreographing and emailing, it’s all over.  An hour long performance and the year is already over. Will the audience remember it all?  Was it worth it?  If I had a horizontal perspective I would hesitate to pour such energy and work into something that ends so suddenly.  But the exciting part about all this is that though the audience may only see a sparkly costume and just another dance to Tchaikovksy, the dancer sees months of teamwork, challenge, fun, and by God’s grace hopefully spiritual growth as well.

 

Am I, at nearly 21 years of age, really wise enough and mature enough to be entrusted with 46 pairs of eyes watching me and ears listening to me?  I would venture to say “no”, if it were not for God’s grace and holy spirit working through me. What an honor, what a delight to have so many blessings to call my own!  What a thrill to see my students with heads bowed in the wings before they go on stage, or to lead all 46 of my girls in prayer on their knees before the program.  The actual performance lasts such a short time, but by God’s grace the impact can last for eternity.

 

Photo credit: Rachel Uleman